TF2.
open the <strike>spoiler</strike> for a good introduction to pyro and tf2
Random crits are fair and balanced
Lucksman.
Facestab.
Facestabs are fair and balanced
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stop using the scorch shot
pyro is the most cancerous class in the game
soldier is the most unbalanced class in the game
sniper is the most overpowered class in the game
demoman is the most easiest class in the game
now
let’s move on to pyro
when we’re dressed for success
you’re gonna say
“i’m gonna cause alot of funerals today
but i’m gonna do it
with a smile on my face”
now we are appropriately dressed for warfare, it’s time we choose our weapons
what set of weapons will ensure us victory in any situation we run into– literally any weapon will work they all get crits
backburner crits
mmmph crits
flare crits
axtinguisher crits
scorch shot crits
underwater crits
detonator crits
airborne crits
“uhhh what about weapons like the homewrecker that doesn’t get critical hits”
you see, that’s where you’re wrong
lemme show you this
sapper crit
building crit
no it can’t be, he’s not gonna…
RANDOM CRIT
the pyro has the only weapon in the game which is a straight upgrade to the stock
why only hit one person
with a third degree you can hit a heavy and his pocket without any side effects
“uhhh, that’s not true, the heavy has a sandvich which is far superior to the shotgun”
oh you think that’s true huh
okay.
(runs out of ammo)
oh no i’m out of ammo
time to switch to my secondary
(sandvich)
(headshotted)
speaking of straight upgrades
let’s address the backscratcher while we’re at it
+25% damage bonus and +50% health from healthpacks but -75% health from healers?
wow this weapon seems really situational
i wish there was a melee only gamemode where you can only get healed from healthpacks.
oh wait
i think that covers all the pyro weapons
“ummm excuse me” – sharpened volcano fragment
time we get into a game and
“never introduced me”
there are no other weapons the pyro has to
“EXCUSE ME”
shut up the volcano fragment is the worst weapon in the whole game
you wanna set people on fire?
there’s already every single flamethrower to do that
you wanna use the sun on a stick?
i can’t remember the last time i seen a scout use that weapon
YOU ARE NOT GOOD FOR ANYTHING
ummm, right, where were we? ahh yes,
so now you have chosen your weapons for victory
it’s time we hop into a game
you notice how we start in the spawnroom?
WE ARE NEVER TO ENTER THIS ROOM AGAIN, HEAD STRAIGHT TO THEIR SPAWNROOM AS SOON AS THOSE GATES OPEN
now what i love about the pyro class is that you can hold your m1 button and no fire comes out
but as soon as that door opens
(spy dies)
they’re screwed
imagine this
you got your coffee mug in one hand, newspaper in the other
you open the door and there’s a flamethrower aimed at your face
i’m not gonna retaliate, i have a coffee mug he has a flamethrower
and i don’t see why anyone would disagree with me.
ign: twillycorn
discord: codered_#5189
twi is best pone
HbMinecraft 2 years, 10 months ago.
Warning: SEIZURE ALERT
